To die is gain...

I've been thinking about death a lot this past week. It seems to have surrounded me.

Friday marked the three year anniversary of my uncle's death (who often felt more like my big brother). He was killed in a car accident on his way home from work the day after Father's Day. I think it was the worst day of my life.

This week also marks the two year annivesary of when I was the sole witness of a horrific motorcycle accident and the young man did not survive. It still haunts me when I sleep.

Wednesday, Matt's great granmother passed away at the age of 104. Though she had lived a long life, it was still hard to see my family members grieve the loss of someone they loved.

On the three year anniversary of my uncle's death, some friends of the family lost their newborn baby girl who was only a few weeks older than Silas. I have wept for her mother and at the thought of what she must be going through.

Needless to say, I've had a knot in my stomach most of the past week. Death makes me sick! I hate it! As I've contemplated over it the last few days I've thought about how death came about as a result of the Fall. I know I would have done the same thing too, but I might have a hard time being nice to Adam and Eve when I get to heaven. We could have lived forever in perfect harmony with God had it not been for sin! (At least until we made it to 1983, when I was born and screwed the whole thing up!) :)

So then I started thinking about how great it must have been in the Garden of Eden. No sin. No death. Walking with God in the Garden. That would be awesome. And it makes me wish that I could experience something like that.

Then I think, I'm going to get to experience something even better. Heaven! And now I've come full circle. The only way to experience life without death, sin and perfect communion with God is to die! (Unless of course Jesus returns during my lifetime.) Now, I don't have a death wish or anything, but today I think I related with Paul better than I ever have before when he says, "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain" (Phil. 1:21). Serious gain. I can't wait to be with Him one day!

Though it doesn't necessarily make it easier, I know that those who are in Christ and have gone before aren't sad at all! They get to worship at the feet of Jesus. These aren't new things I've learned, but it helps for me to think about them again in light of my week. I'm so thankful that I don't have to dread death and can be excited about what awaits me when God has fulfilled His purpose with me here on earth.